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Funny, I don’t remember packing that

by Miranda on August 23, 2011

When I go anywhere, I’m a pretty meticulous packer. I make a list of what I’m taking with specific item details. The list doesn’t just say “black dress.” It says “faux wrap black dress with five buttons.” (Also? I laugh and roll my eyes when Dan does this. Because he takes my OCD packing nature to a whole ‘nother level.)

When I need to tightly pack many things to save space, I can do it easily. I’m the master of having no dead space. Just ask my roommates about my BlogHer swag and how I got that home. They can vouch for my awesome packing skills.

What I do not remember packing for BlogHer–or even remotely thinking that I needed to pack–is this:

Yeah.

Yes. Yes that is what you think it is.

Yes. Yes I am just as shocked as some of you are.

When I took the test on the Monday morning after BlogHer, I took it kind of on a whim. I was on day 52 of what I thought was an anovulatory cycle. I knew that if I planned to call the doctor around day 60, they’d ask me if I’d tested. So, I grabbed the pee stick out of the cabinet and before I even had a chance to wipe, two lines were there.

I kind of laughed in disbelief. Shook the test. Looked again. Yep. Still two pink lines.

Dan was getting Joshua dressed for school so I went into the nursery, pee stick in hand, and when he asked why I had such a funny look on my face, I showed him the test. Shoved it at him, actually. He did the same shocked, disbelieving laugh as me and then high fived me. (What? You don’t high five your spouse over surprise pregnancies?! Oh, wait, you don’t HAVE surprise pregnancies? Yeah. Me neither.)

I wish I could say I immediately did back flips and let out a SQUEE! of joy. But I just kind of went through the morning in complete shock. And the rest of the day. And the day after that. And the day after that.

That shock has been the reason for my radio silence lately. Until we knew some dates, we didn’t want to tell our families. And until we told our families, I couldn’t really write about this. And without writing about this, I’ve been left with zero ways to process this aside from in my own head. Which is a facking awful place for anyone as it turns out.

And as it turns out, I’m pretty much terrified.

{ 116 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Diana @Hormonal Imbalances August 23, 2011 at 9:05 pm

SQUEEEEEE!!!!! I have been waiting for this post forever – congrats again! I am thrilled for all 3 of you!

And you’re going to be ok – it will all work out – it always does. I know it’s cliche but really – I believe it.

Lots of love and hugs your way. You are going to be a fantastic second time mom.

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2 Miranda August 23, 2011 at 10:22 pm

I know it’ll work out. I know. It’s just scary as Hell.

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3 Katie August 23, 2011 at 9:17 pm

i love you.

come hold my pregnant hand.

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4 Miranda August 23, 2011 at 10:22 pm

I love YOU. So come hold MY pregnant hand.

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5 Suz @ Suz's Treats August 23, 2011 at 9:17 pm

YAY! You’re bloggy out. I’m with Diana that I’ve been anxiously awaiting this post. I was so happily shocked for you & am still so happy for you & your family. Much love!

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6 Miranda August 23, 2011 at 10:25 pm

Thanks, Suz. I’m glad you two were blog stalking me for this!

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7 Mungee's Ma August 23, 2011 at 9:20 pm

Those are some bright lines! No doubt about that, you can’t shake those away. I am very happy for you. It is definitely a scary time, wondering what it will be like with two (not that I am doing that right now, *cough, cough*) I wish you a very happy and healthy pregnancy!

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8 Miranda August 23, 2011 at 10:27 pm

RIGHT? Super bright. And HOLY FAST. They came up so quickly! Thank you.

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9 Katherine @ Postpartum Progress August 23, 2011 at 9:28 pm

You can do it sister! We’re here for you and will help you through! Congratulations.

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10 Miranda August 23, 2011 at 10:31 pm

Thanks, Katherine!

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11 Robin | Farewell, Stranger August 23, 2011 at 9:28 pm

Oh! Congratulations? Yes! Congratulations! All will be well.

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12 Miranda August 23, 2011 at 10:32 pm

All will be well in time. Letting that time elapse will be the problem.

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13 Tawny August 23, 2011 at 9:28 pm

Congratulations! :D

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14 Miranda August 23, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Thanks!

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15 Torie@TwentyFiveDesign August 23, 2011 at 9:29 pm

First off congrats. I know it may not seem like a “yay, so happy, congrats” type of time, but it really is a blessing :)

Secondly, just to echo what I said via twitter; you will do fine and we are all here for ya.

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16 Miranda August 23, 2011 at 10:34 pm

I know it’s a blessing. Deep down, I know that. It’s just maybe the most terrifying blessing imaginable.

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17 angela August 23, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Congratulations! I can’t imagine the shock of that and trying to process it all in your own brain. You will be great at this.

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18 Miranda August 23, 2011 at 10:35 pm

Um, it was freaking hard. Too hard. WAY. I do not recommend it.

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19 Guilty Squid August 23, 2011 at 9:31 pm

I find in moments like this it’s best to say, “HolyCrapYouAreHavingABaby!!”

I can’t promise it won’t be full of nausea, stretch marks, pains and bizarre body functions-

But it has one hell of an upside.

Congrats, my friend.

Now go eat some ice cream.

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20 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:38 am

“HolyCrapYouAreHavingABaby” about sums it up. And oh my god the nausea.

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21 Law momma August 23, 2011 at 9:32 pm

you are going to rock this. It will be so different and you are going to rock this!!! And I’m here to prop you up if you start to feel wobbly, promise. Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!

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22 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:39 am

I already feel wobbly! Where are you!!?

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23 Law Momma August 24, 2011 at 8:47 am

Crap I’m at work… HOLD ON, I’M COMING!!! :) (think Sam and Dave? With Music?)

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24 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 12:43 pm

I don’t know if I ever knew the next line was “I’m coming.” Until now, of course.

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25 Cortney August 23, 2011 at 9:33 pm

I’m sorry if my wife knocked you up at BlogHer… who knew?

Congrats!

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26 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:39 am

I think Katie and I should patent this baby and get rich so we don’t have to work anymore.

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27 Amy August 24, 2011 at 2:25 pm

If you patent this baby, could you send some of Katie’s pregnancy juju my way? Clearly the woman has some seriously powerful baby stuff!

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28 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Right? Her baby stuff is all sorts of magical.

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29 Ryan (The Woven Moments) August 23, 2011 at 9:33 pm

Oh I have so been there. I think I stared at a wall for about 2 hours after my positive pregnancy test.

But you know what? The shock fades and the joy and anticipation seeps in. (And for me the dread of being pregnant. Oy.)

Turns out there’s room for LOTS of feelings at one time.

So congratulations!! You’ve got lots of people who are 100% thrilled for you.

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30 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:40 am

The test is still laying on the bathroom counter. Every time I pee, I look to make sure the lines are actually still there.

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31 Suzanne August 23, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Hugs. Our planned-but-not-planned-QUITE-SO-SOON second pregnancy really threw me for a loop for a few days. Weeks. Months. Up until the day I gave birth I was secretly terrified – and then after that I was VISIBLY terrified. But things are OK, some days even better than OK, and you are going to be fine.

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32 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:41 am

I am visibly and secretly terrified. I’m very deer-in-headlights I think.

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33 Frelle August 23, 2011 at 9:34 pm

Congratulations and I’m thinking of you as you process this!

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34 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:41 am

Thank you, frelle. Processing is difficult.

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35 Charity August 23, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Congratulations!!! One moment at a time. One moment at a time.

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36 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:41 am

Exactly. One moment at a time.

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37 Susan @learndhappiness August 23, 2011 at 9:38 pm

“Funny, I don’t remember packing that” …cracked me up. =)

Congrats! From one accidental second pregnancy mama to another – you can totally do this. Give yourself permission to process. Holler at me if you need anything!!! ((hugs))

Susan

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38 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:41 am

I will certainly holler. Loudly.

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39 Erin August 23, 2011 at 9:48 pm

Although we’d been trying for a second child for a few months, I got my positive test the same day my husband was told by his boss that he may no longer be a good fit for their company. He packed up his desk, fully expecting to be fired, and came home horribly upset. He was ecstatic at the news, but all I knew is my safe and comfy stay at home mom world had had two big shocks that day, and I was terrified for weeks as he had meetings with the various levels of management that he would lose his job (and our insurance). In the end, he kept his job, and is guaranteed his job through next September, but it was definitely a rocky start to my pregnancy. And a rocky end now that I’ve been diagnosed with gestational diabetes.

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40 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:42 am

Holy crap! I’d lose my marbles if all of that happened! Sorry to hear about the GD. :(

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41 WeeMasonMan's Mom August 23, 2011 at 9:55 pm

Congrats!!!

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42 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:42 am

Thank you.

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43 Jenny August 23, 2011 at 10:02 pm

Miranda!!! Congratulations, love!!! <3

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44 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:43 am

Thank you, Jenny!

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45 TheNextMartha August 23, 2011 at 10:03 pm

Congrats. It will be great. Better than great.

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46 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:43 am

I hope so.

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47 Rach (DonutsMama) August 23, 2011 at 10:03 pm

Miranda!! You’ll be great. Truly. Congratulations.

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48 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:44 am

I hope so. And thanks.

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49 Laura August 23, 2011 at 10:07 pm

Wow! How absolutely positively exciting! Congratulations!

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50 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:45 am

I’m glad y’all are excited. I need other people to be excited since I’m having trouble getting there.

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51 Elizabeth Flora Ross August 23, 2011 at 10:15 pm

Congratulations! It’s totally normal to not even know how you feel about it. Give it time to sink in. I’m happy for you! Hope you are feeling well…

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52 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:45 am

I completely don’t know how I feel about this and I’ve been living with it for 2.5 weeks.

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53 story August 23, 2011 at 10:19 pm

Do you know how I know you’re going to be an amazing mom? Because you already are one.

This 2nd baby is going to be one of the two luckiest kids in the world. And you’re pretty lucky yourself, mama. So much love to you.

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54 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:45 am

Thank you, you. Thank you a ton.

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55 Julie S. August 23, 2011 at 10:33 pm

Congratulations! :) It will all be great- trust me.

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56 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:46 am

Thanks. I know it will. I’m just in a serious adjustment phase right now.

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57 Alena August 23, 2011 at 10:38 pm

YAY YAY YAY! I have been so excited about this!!!!!

PS: Shaking it does no good. It’s not an etch-a-sketch.

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58 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:46 am

It’s not? Damn. Maybe I should’ve peed on an etch-a-sketch then.

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59 Angie K. August 23, 2011 at 10:40 pm

Blame it on Katie. She must have hugged you extra hard at Blogher…or something.

For real, Congrats! Siblings are the greatest gift we can give our children. Another person to care for us when we are old.

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60 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:47 am

Or another person to put us in a second-rate nursing home for all the therapy we caused?

Not how I should look at things right now?

Damn.

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61 Jennifer S. August 23, 2011 at 10:43 pm

congratulations!! how are you feeling? aside from the shock!

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62 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:47 am

Like I want to vomit. All the time.

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63 randi August 23, 2011 at 10:44 pm

No way!!!!!!!!! You so so got this! Congrats times infinity!

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64 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:48 am

Thanks, Randi. I’m totally freaking out!

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65 Dan August 23, 2011 at 10:46 pm

Commence blogging about horrendous morning sickness this time around.

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66 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:48 am

You know it! Now you don’t get to be the only one to hear about it! SCORE ONE FOR YOU.

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67 Tracy August 24, 2011 at 12:57 am

Congratulations Momma!

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68 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:49 am

Thanks, you.

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69 Paulette August 24, 2011 at 6:41 am

My mommy fogged been up since 4am brain can only come up with CONGRATS! Dontcha just love surprises?! Me too x 3. =)

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70 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:50 am

No. No I do not love surprises. At least not right away. Because this is like surprising me with a rattle snake. Or a spider. And telling me they are pets.

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71 Paulette August 24, 2011 at 9:22 am

OK, I’m with ya on those things. Totally get it, too. <3

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72 Mama August 24, 2011 at 7:56 am

Well, let me just tell you folks how happy this Nana is………..I know that it is a total shock to my girl, but you know what (as George Lopez says)…….I got thissssssss! She will have this. I haven’t always been able to be there much for her with Joshua but I promise to do my best to be there every time she needs me,…….might ought to move in huh?….lol. Miranda doesn’t see what everyone on the outside sees, she is strong, intelligent, gentle, and has more love than you could possibly imagine and do you know how I know these things? I raised her and most of all i know how she was raised. I had her when I was 24 yrs old, not married and making just a little over minimum wage but I was determined to take care of this wonderful gift that God had blessed me with. i was so excited to be pregnant and somehow I knew things would be fine, even though I had to stop thinking about myself and start thinking about this life growing inside of me, y’all I can’t put into words how I feel about Miranda. Has it always been a bed of roses? No. But somehow some way we have a tendancy to make it happen and that is how Miranda is she is a make it happen kind of girl. You will be fine sweetie and just know I am there for you when you need me. I love you more than words can say. I know this is rambling but I have so much to say and don’t want to take up all of your blog space….lol. Thank you (and Dan of course) for making beautiful intelligent children and just relax and know it will be OK!!!!

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73 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:51 am

I already don’t know where I’m going to put this baby and its stuff, so moving in might be an issue. But the fixer-upper two doors down? That’s an option.

Thanks, Mama. For everything. Except making me cry into my biscuits.

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74 Liz (ShorelineMommy) August 24, 2011 at 8:27 am

CONGRATULATIONS! I follow your tweets and blog and was so happy to see this news! I know you and your little family will be great. Sending you big hugs!

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75 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:52 am

Thanks for the hugs. We’ll figure this out.

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76 Jana A August 24, 2011 at 8:37 am

YEEHAW!! SQUEEEEEEEEE!! I’m so excited for you! Also, your mama made me cry :)

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77 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:52 am

My Mama ALWAYS makes someone cry. Usually me. Always.

And thanks.

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78 imperfectmomma August 24, 2011 at 8:46 am

Congrats! Felt the same way when I found out about #2. You will do just fine :)

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79 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 8:52 am

At what point, exactly, should I expect to be less shocked? Because shock is just sort of plaguing me.

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80 imperfectmomma August 24, 2011 at 9:00 am

Well to be perfectly honest – I was in shock up until I gave birth. Still am kinda. Like I look at her & go: how do I have a second child? Well I know how – but you get my drift…

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81 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Yeah. This is what I’m expecting.

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82 teresa August 24, 2011 at 8:53 am

Omg!!! Congratulations!! Take it one day aat a time. Having 2 kids was the best decision I ever made. They are 2 yrs apart and the best of friends!

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83 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Thanks for that reassurance.

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84 Krista August 24, 2011 at 9:01 am

Hey! I missed this yesterday. Congratulations!! So happy for you.

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85 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Thank you

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86 Denise August 24, 2011 at 9:11 am

Congratulations! Although a surprise, you will rock this. Because you rock. Looking forward to following along on this adventure through your words.

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87 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 12:44 pm

Gah. I’m glad you’re confident. I’m freaking out!

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88 Teri August 24, 2011 at 9:18 am

What a wonderful, shocking, surprise. Love it – Congrats!!

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89 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Shocking and surprise are sticking out for me right now. Wonderful will come later. I hope.

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90 Whitney August 24, 2011 at 9:37 am

Congrats, Miranda! I’ve been a blog stalker of yours for a while now but rarely comment (although I relate to a lot of what you blog about!). I am sure you will be a GREAT mom to two! It’s all in God’s plan :).

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91 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Thank you for commenting, finally! We are lurker-friendly here!

And I know it is. I keep telling myself that.

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92 Jami August 24, 2011 at 10:15 am

I was so happy to read this last night. I believe everything will work out for the best and you guys will be amazing parents to Joshua and LO!!! Congrats!

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93 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 12:46 pm

Thank you. I know it will all work out eventually.

When, exactly, is “eventually”?

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94 Elle August 24, 2011 at 12:05 pm

Thanks to mine & my husband’s super-human reproducing powers, we have had two surprise pregnancies. One while using birth control and condoms (no, we absolutely never slipped up or skipped either one), and the other when we got pregnant the very first night that we decided to try for a second child. You’re scared of this surprise pregnancy, and I’m scared of sex altogether.

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95 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 12:47 pm

Um, I am now scared of sex too. I don’t want to get repregnant or anything.

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96 John August 24, 2011 at 1:52 pm

First, congratulations. Having two kids is a wonderful thing – it really is. They’ll reach a certain age & start entertaining each other. They’ll be life-long best friends.

But, you also have my sympathies . . . because, it kind of sucks until you get to that point. It’s a wild & crazy & worthwhile trip . . . but, like the best roller coasters, the moments of pure terror are numerous.

Mostly, though, congratulations. And I totally expect to see you rocking some pregnancy dresses.

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97 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 3:38 pm

First–thank you. Except not for that roller-coaster imagery. Because now I want to puke double.

And I already busted out the maternity pants because holy comfort, Batman.

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98 Molly August 24, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Miranda, first i just want to say that I am so happy for you! Secondly, I want to tell you that I completely understand your reaction. The feelings are different than a very planned pregnancy. My husband & I walked around in shock for a good 2 months. I didn’t have any pregnancy symptoms at all so it was easier to deny it was even happening. I was terrify too. You’re not alone. I know you just need time to process it before you can celebrate this new life. I wish I could hug you again! Everything will be a-okay!!!

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99 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 3:42 pm

Oh, the symptoms. My GOD. The symptoms. They’re WAY worse this time than they were with Joshua. And yes, time to process and then I’ll celebrate.

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100 Jami August 24, 2011 at 4:53 pm

I just wanted to pipe in and say that even with a planned pregnancy the feelings can be confusing. DH and I tried for almost three years and were on our last round of fertility treatments before giving up when we got pregnant with LO (I’m due in November) and there are still days where I’m scared shitless and wonder if I’ve made a mistake. I love this little guy more than anything but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t doubts and confusing thoughts. Sigh. It’s crazy no matter what way I suppose :-)

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101 Christine August 24, 2011 at 2:19 pm

Congrats and YAY! You guys make cute kiddos. It’s a bit of a rollercoaster ride in the beginning, but its also very rewarding. I’m confident you are going to be a great mom to two!

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102 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Oy with the roller coasters! All-day sickness, people! LOL

And I hope so.

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103 Amy August 24, 2011 at 2:32 pm

We already talked about this on The Twitter, but I’ll say it again here. Sending many hugs, congratulations, and hope that the shock wears off and the happy replaces it! :)

Also, I need The Twitters to share some of the water that you guys are all drinking. I swear every female I follow is pregnant!

(Any girl/boy feelings yet?)

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104 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 3:44 pm

I DID NOT INTEND TO DRINK THIS WATER. I repeat–someone drugged me.

And no, not really, though slightly leaning girl? But that could just be wishful thinking.

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105 Sally August 24, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Bless your heart…that is great news. Heck, I was suprised with the first one, when the labor pains started I was still trying to figure out what to do!!!!! Ha! You’ll be great, sounds like you have a great husband and son, I’m sure everything will be fine. I commented on the post where Dan gave the bread recipe, was gonna try it that weekend, but life intervened. Oh well, maybe this week.
Be blessed,

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106 Miranda August 24, 2011 at 3:48 pm

That bread is good stuff! You should totally try it!

As for this? I know this will work out. I’m just going to be freaking out until it does.

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107 Hopes@Staying Afloat! August 24, 2011 at 8:04 pm

Congratulations!!!

Believe it or not, I do know the feeling of a surprise pregnancy! My third boy was conceived through a condom. Yes, I’m sure that is more then you ever wanted to know about someone you don’t know! But I thought I would let you know that you are not alone. The surprise, and the being terrified is totally normal and understandable! It does turn into sheer joy and excitement! I promise!

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108 pinkflipflops August 24, 2011 at 8:53 pm

yaaaaaaaaaaay congrats!

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109 Kimberly August 24, 2011 at 9:42 pm

Ack remind me not to drink your American water. It’s floating with sperm and fertile eggs.
Congrats. Let’s squeee together.

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110 Veronica August 25, 2011 at 12:22 am

Welcome to the wild side mama! SO happy for you and your lovely family. You cant imagine it now but you will be amazed at how much happier you become. Sounds insane. But I promise its just nuts.

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111 mrs.d August 26, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Congratulations! :)

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112 Brooke E. August 29, 2011 at 9:56 pm

My daughter was also a surprise. I discovered I was pregnant the day before my husband’s birthday. I wanted to wait, to tell him on his bday, but kind of blurted it out that evening. I couldn’t wait, not even 1 day! I also experienced ALOT of fatigue and “morning” sickness. I don’t think I fully believed that I was pregnant until I heard her heartbeat and saw her, like a little peanut, in the ultrasound. Regardless of how nervous I was to have her, how sick I was throughout my pregnancy, and how scared I was of being responsible for another human being, Sydney was the greatest “surprise” I have ever been given!

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113 Jess August 31, 2011 at 5:13 pm

I’m so excited for yall. And I think it’s awesome he high fived you. Ha!

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114 ickwmhe September 14, 2011 at 2:42 am

Great article, I just given this onto a co-worker who was doing a little research on that. And he in fact purchased me lunch because I discovered it for him

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115 angela king May 27, 2012 at 11:01 pm

congratulations! and high fives are awesome. just sayin’. :)

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116 angela king May 27, 2012 at 11:02 pm

and yeah. this is old. congratulations still! ;)

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