the universe is out to get me

Dear Mom At The Pool, Pay Attention To Your Kid

August 28, 2013

All summer long a rant has been bubbling up inside of me that is two not-even-full sentences long: Dear Moms At The Pool, Pay attention to your kid(s).  We’ve averaged a trip a week to the pool this summer. Me and two kids. In water. See that? IN THE WATER. Me. With them. Because they […]

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Press Your Luck!

June 11, 2013

Does everyone remember this game? Press Your Luck? You have a button and a game board and the game board blinks and the contestants chant “Big Bucks! Big Bucks!! NO WHAMMIES! BIG BUCKS!” while the board blinks and then they slam their fist on the button and hope. Contestants might win a TV, or a […]

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Gone Fishin’

June 4, 2013

You know when your week gets off to a start that is less than stellar and you spend the whole day trying to do ANYTHING to break the funk and the only thing that will break the funk is the one thing you can’t seem to get which is sleep? Yes. That. That was my […]

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Emotional Minefields

April 2, 2013

Ever since Joshua was a baby, it’s been clear that he’s a deeply emotional kid, prone to outbursts of the epic variety at the slightest provocation. Or sometimes without being provoked at all. I’m trying to get our days more organized and scheduled since his therapist recommended that as a way to help him out […]

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Just Like a Rolling Stone

March 27, 2013

I’ll just go ahead and warn you now, this post involves bodily functions. Mine. They’re only involved because they are the entire context of the story and without them there would BE no story, but I felt I should forewarn you so that those among you who would clutch your pearls at the mention of […]

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Here’s the scenario

March 8, 2013

I need help, people. Because something happened today that I am trying to wrap my head around and I need to understand it so that my brain doesn’t just turn to liquid and pour out of my ears. Many heads are better than just mine, so let’s come up with reasons to explain what I […]

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Well, they’ll take your soul if you let them. Oh yeah, but don’t you let them.

January 28, 2013

The single hardest thing about leaving the work force and staying home, for me at least, has been the significant drop in adult interaction in my life since last June. And by significant drop I mean Dan is sometimes the only adult I see in an entire week, except dropping Joshua off at school. No […]

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Starting Over

January 4, 2013

This is no time for catchy titles, guys. Basically, I’m about 30 seconds from a wine-fueled whine where I talk about what a bad mother I was today and y’all feel compelled to 1) be nice and tell me I wasn’t a bad mother, 2) yell at me for being a bad mother, or 3) […]

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You say you want some resolutions. Well, you know.

January 1, 2013

It’s 2013 now and I’m supposed to make some resolutions. I cannot even begin to tell you what I resolved to do last year. But then again I can barely remember brushing my teeth yesterday, so the fact that I can’t remember what happened 365 days ago should come as a shock to absolutely no […]

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Cheers to the freaking weekend

November 2, 2012

Emma’s swing died on Wednesday morning. Like, died-dead and not just batteries-dead. And I realize this is snarky of me, but I’m rather shocked at the number of people who asked me if the batteries were dead when I said the swing was dead as if there was no possible way I would’ve thought to […]

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